November ZBA Meeting

Thursday, November 20, 2008

November ZBA Meeting

Spencer Tracy, assessing Katherine Hepburn, in Pat and Mike:

"Not much meat on her, but what's there is cherce."

The same may be said of tonight's Westhamp­ton Beach Zoning Board of Appeals meeting.

The applications to be heard were few, but when the Board closed out the evening with Richard Kostyra's nunc pro tunc request for variances for his property at 73 Dune Road... Gair Betts for the applicant... the entertain­ment value rose exponentially.

And Mr. Betts, the consummate professional, kept a straight face the whole time that he made a record asking that his client be allowed to maintain a deck and railing, a waterfall and pond, and three story's worth of circular stairs.

"Maintain" is the key word here as Mr. Kostyra already has the foregoing despite not only having no Building Permits for any of the work performed... by himself personally as well as certain mysterious contractors... but none of the variances necessary for the dimensional non-conformities.

("Mysterious" because under pointed ques­tioning by Chairman Chris Bean and Board Attorney Hermon Bishop, Mr. Kos­tyra could not recall the name of the con­tractor to whom he paid many thou­sands of cash dollars earlier this decade and, there being no canceled checks, couldn't find any receipts, either.)

Mr. Betts did the best he could under the circumstances... the toughest being a client who made Frank Costello in the Kefauver hearings seem profoundly free of any guilt.

But the applicant's prospects weren't helped by putting into the record a cost estimate of $22,000 for removing the illegal structures... some of which intruded into sacred dunes space and therefore considered a capital offense by any environmental agency... when slipping a C-note to a couple of guys at the morning shape-up at the Mill Road 7-Eleven, would get the same job done in half-a-day!

The surmise here is that in anticipation of the ZBA's decision at their December meeting, Mr. Kostyra would do well to check the TrueValue or Home Depot Sales flyers for the best prices on a heavy duty chain saw.


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