"Return with us now...

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

"Return with us now...

...to those thrilling days of yesteryear!"

It all comes back to me with ease...

"With his faithful Indian companion Tonto, the daring and resourceful masked rider of the plains, led the fight for law and order in the early West."

Tomorrow, The Lone Ranger again rides onto countless screens across the country and around the world.

"The Lone Ranger" 2013

My requirements are simple... I only ask for one thing from any dramatization of that resourceful masked rider!

And as crappy as was 1981's "The Legend of the Lone Ranger," it did deliver on that requirement:

Vid cap of Michael Horse and Klinton Spilsbury as 'Tonto' and 'The Lone Ranger'

That sequence, after plodding through 55 minutes of Chris­topher Lloyd chewing Monument Valley scenery, literally levitated me out of my seat in the Southampton Theater!

As it did again a bit later when Klinton Spilsbury rode in to rescue Michael Horse from the gallows... I was already in my 40s but was immediately transported back to my eighth year huddled beneath the covers listening to WOR on my $10 Montgomery Ward radio.

And a third time when The Lone Ranger vaults onto the back of his great stallion "Silver" for his final pursuit of the das­tardly Butch Cavendish to dispatch him with his fists.

"A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty 'Hi Yo Silver!' The Lone Ranger rides again!"

If none of this 70mm Imax1 extravaganza is accompanied by the pounding percussion, staccato brass and furious strings of Rossini's William Tell Overture, it won't be worth a plugged nickel of the reputed $225 million Jerry Bruckheimer spent of Disney's money on the production.

So I'll go with a relatively open mind (and ears) despite the poor reviews collected by Rotten Tomatoes and see what director Gore Verbinski has wrought with Arnie Hammer, Johnny Depp and all that money...

"Get'm up, big fella! Hi-yo, Silver, away!"

...and I'll report back.

  1. It turns out that the closest theater exhibiting the film in Imax 70mm is the Cineworld in Dublin, Ireland.


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