Mr. (and Ms.) Candidates...

Friday, November 09, 2007

Mr. (and Ms.) Candidates...

Tear Down Those Signs!

Drove along out to Hampton Bays on the back roads and Montauk Highway Thursday after­noon, then back to Speonk (there are reasons to go there other than to hook up with the L.I.R.R.... the Zima Tire people being a primary one!), and 44 hours after the polls closed to end Tuesday's general election, the Town and Village scapes are still blighted by an excess of candidate's signs. They're on lawns and 'phone poles everywhere... failed incumbent Supervis­or Patrick "Skip" Heaney's vertical red Conser­vative snipes on literally three of every five polls along Old Country Road in East Quogue, and Democratic challengers Jim Henry and Anna Throne-Holst on trees and ground signs every several hundred feet along Montauk Highway!

One of the campaign promises of Westhamp­ton Beach Trustee Tim Laube I most appreci­ated was his vow to removed all of his election signs by the following day, and by golly he did!

(He damned well better have! He was the candidate who popularized their use within the Village during his first run, and so successful was he in 2004, that local candidates have been deploying them ever since... except me, of course, but then I lost!)

Unfortunately, few of the Town-wide candi­dates have adopted that admirable ethic, and I fear that most of what's been affixed to trees, posts and poles will still be in view by the Spring thaw.

But then the thought occurred that a remedial solution was readily at hand, one by which sev­eral purposes would be served.

"My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!"
– The Mikado

Taking a page straight out of the celebrated Gilbert & Sullivan songbook, here's a sug­gestion for Suffolk County Sheriff Vincent DeMarco, under whose authority the Cor­rections Officers serve.

Two of his men, John Nolan and Jack Canino (along with Suffolk Conservative Party Vice Chairman William Fries), were nabbed by Quogue Village and Southampton Town Police two weeks ago removing Republican Candidate Linda Kabot's campaign signs, and at this writing, there seems to have been no word on whatever action the Sheriff has taken in respect to the Officers' employment'

So here's what Sheriff DeMarco should con­sider imposing as punishment for the ill-considered nocturnal activities of his two men: put orange vests on Officers Nolan and Canino, and give them the task of removing all the Conservative Party signs from Southampton Town! They'd be suspended without pay until they completed the job.

A more appropriate resolution I cannot imagine!

It's soooooo appropriate, upon further con­sideration, that the Southampton Town Justices should consider imposing a similar condition of dismissal of whatever charges Jim Henry might still be facing for his own late night signage escapade last month in Ann LaWall's front yard!

Just do whatever needs to be done to get rid of all those campaign signs!


1. Matlynn Carville said...


My blushes.

2. Mike said...

We have a lad here in Nassau that was also caught. I e-mailed to the DA's Office that an appropriate punnishment was a 250.00 fine to a soup kitchen and community service of removal of all Nassau County political signs.

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