Let's hear it for 'Seniors,' damnit!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Let's hear it for 'Seniors,' damnit!

Initially, yesterday's Fox News report...

Agencies tamp down speculation over hollow-point ammo purchases

...irked the bejabbers outta me with its lead paragraph:

"Obscure federal agencies triggered a firestorm of con­spiracy theories1 this week after they put out orders for thousands of rounds of deadly hollow-point bullets."


My first thought was that I hadn't seen that hyperbolic phrase in awhile!

I think the last time I heard "deadly hollow-point bullets" invoked was in the mid-'90s when NYPD announced that it was switching its 9mm issue rounds from 115-grain Full Metal Jacket to 124-grain Hollow Points, and a number of leaders of the city's minorities went on local Sunday morning current events shows to decry in the most horrified tones, the use of "these bullets whose sole purpose is to maim and kill young men of color."

(Ignored was the fact that the NYC Transit Police, before it became part of NYPD in 1995, had been issuing 124-grain HPs for several years due to the reduced likelihood of ricochets2 in the confines of the subway system.)

Ultimately, however, science and better informed rational thought prevailed, and "New York's Finest" have been issued hollow point ammo for more than 15 years, and reports of "maimed and killed" African-American and Hispanic youth piled like cordwood in emergency rooms and the city morgue have failed to materialize.

So what was with Fox News' purple prose?

Of the sundry mainstream media out there... NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, etc.... Fox has been the least antagonistic toward firearms issues, and this sort of thing was, mercifully, not routine.

Further on in the report was this gem:

"Infowars.com speculated that the purchases were being made in preparation for 'civil unrest,' imagining a scenario of economic collapse where seniors could cause 'disorder' if denied their Social Security benefits."

Putting aside for the moment that Fox News' linked source was a report on Alex Jones' conspiracy-powered site and authored by Paul Joseph Watson who spends every waking hour fretting about "black helicopters" and promulgating the notion that fluoridation is a greater threat than an Iranian nuclear capability, I enjoyed the thought of senior citizens fomenting against the Government and making armed incursions into the Social Security Administration!

Okay, you soulless robotic bureaucrats out there, we're Seniors, we're armed and we're coming for you, by cane, by crutch, by walker, wheelchair and Segway.

I am a Senior Citizen, and you wanna see "disorder?" You'd better hope not, 'cause hollow point ammo ain't gonna save your flabby desk-bound butts!

And Fox News? I'm going on the assumption that yester­day's story was written by some wet-behind-the-ears intern content-provider because all the professionals had already taken off for the weekend.

  1. The bulk of conspiracy theories are, if not created by the media themselves, certainly flogged to "firestorm" levels.
  2. Yes, sworn officers in "The Big Apple" have an appall­ingly poor record for marksmanship.


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