Did I have a really odd dream last night...

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Did I have a really odd dream last night...

...that Joan Levan called me at home and was all charming and sweet in that coquette-ish way she gets with any male under the age of 75?

The 'phone rang just after 6:00 pm, and the Caller ID dis­played the name and number of "Marvin Levan."

Uh oh!

But on the fourth ring I decided to answer... cautiously.

"Heeeeelllllloooooooooo...."
"Did you like the gift I sent you?"

I had to be careful with this one because the only "gift" I'd received of recent was an "Urban-Palmer" campaign sign someone had put in our front yard early Saturday morning where the "Birk" sign had stood.

Couldst be true? "Boss Levan1" voluntarily admitting to an act of trespass and (minor) vandalism, and then openly calling from her home 'phone to taunt me about it?

Now I really had to play this carefully... was she actually referencing the sign caper?

"Um, what 'gift' would that be, Joan?"
"Charlie?"

Ah HA! She had meant to call Junior Palmer, so the "gift" could have been anything from a batch of her chocolate chip cookies, to Toni Jo's severed head on a pike.

"No, Joan, it's Dean."
"Dean???"
"Yes, Joan, Dean, the blogger."

(Silence and mild confusion.)

"I'm told that you obsess about me2, but I had no idea that it went to this length."

When she responded this time, all traces of the coquette had been mercifully replaced by resignation.

"I must have mis-dialed."
"What number were you calling?"
"Well, I just mis-dialed."
"The only reason I ask is that we sometime get calls for Six Corners Liquors whose number is one digit removed from ours."

She assured me that this wasn't the case, and we disen­gaged without any of the waspish tone she commonly uses when forced to speak with me.

I told Jeanne about the call and conversation over dinner, and she was sure I kidding.

I didn't push it.

When I awoke this morning, it seemed less "real" so I had to wonder if it wasn't a mild nightmare....

Then I checked my Optimum call log and there it was: 6:11 pm, and we'd spoken for all of 61 seconds.

Notes
  1. After her Lightning Party's sweep in Friday's election, it's time to retire the "Empress of Oneck" appel­la­tion and henceforth refer to her as "Boss Levan."
  2. Two of her friends have said that I was "really in her head" because of OtBB.

Comments

1. EastEnd68 said...

Not sure of the reason, but Joan did not mis-dial.

There is a burgeoning consensus on that view... perhaps it was just a "Hello" call.
– Dean

2. Dune Mind said...

Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod. I also truly thought that you were kidding.

But that I were.
Dean

3. Jeanne Speir said...

Oh my.

Is Ms. Levan quite alright? I don't recall her ever calling the house before.

Perhaps she was hoping that you would answer so she could giggle and hang up.

I don't know... what I do know is that Junior Palmer's number is nothing even remotely close to ours.

But hey!, it was late in the day and who knows what shape she was in?
Dean

4. Crabby said...

She's old enough to start developing early, ah, "memory" problems. That may be the only thing that saves our Village from her!

BTW, what's with outsider Angelo dela Fuentes in our business 24/7/365? Is it money? Intellect? Love? Real Estate?

Levan handily pushes Tucker around, but if there's a connection with dela Fuentes, I just don't get.

Nah, he's just a vantz who's still angry that his part-time wife wasn't able to collect her accrual time when she retired from the Village Court system.
– Dean

5. Tugboat Bertha said...

She couldn't resist and called to gloat. What do you bet? We shudder to think what they will do to us next now that all her toadies are elected.

The Village "elected" her toadies. It's the appointments which are far more dangerous.
– Dean

6. Michael Jacobs said...

...and some issues, recently resolved, may be circling back for Act II. I understand that Chief Dean's contract has been FOIL'd.

Wouldn't surprise me in the least. Junior Palmer, as "Publius," was an outspoken critic of Chief Dean.

Master of diction that I am, I don't think "outspoken" is le mot juste when one is doing it pseudonymously.
– Dean

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