O, Elyse!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

O, Elyse!

... how could you? (He writes in his best, i.e., awful!, "Laura Petrie" impersonation.)

(And not the first time Ms. Richman has generated such a response from me!)

Headline from the local Patch:

Why is Code Enforcement Targeting Westhampton Beach?

It is... no surprise!... authored by my pal1, proprietrix of the various "Shock" enterprises on Westhampton Beach's Main Street.

Anyone with any time with OtBB knows it operates under a policy of "Full Disclosure2," but such is not the case with Ms. Richman when she writes:

"Some business owners feel that they are being targeted by code enforcement in Westhampton Beach while others sit quietly going under the radar."

(Translation: "Why is everybody3 always picking on me?")

The short answer is that you, Elyse, are one of the ones who continually pushes the envelope beyond what is permitted and what is not... and then when you get summonsed, you blink those big browns and ask:

"But what did I do?"

That's not only silly, but in your case insulting!

You can take off to Israel for two weeks, put on battle dress, pick up an M16 and serve in the military... and then come back here and with your lower lip quivering, ask "What'd I do?"


Then there's:

"I have been hearing from the owners of businesses in the village that they feel the village is making it very difficult to be in business in the village."

Okay, there's you and Simon Jorna, but even Simon's decided that he needs to play by the rules, so that leaves you.

"...now with the summer season upon us, our customers are even being targeted along Main Street in the village for parking violations. Why target the customers of the Main Street businesses?"

Um, because they're the ones violating the clearly posted parking regulations?

C'mon, Elyse! You're not some wide-eyed adolescent, and Westhampton Beach isn't a laissez-faire utopia4... there's regulations, rules and code.

Deal with them and stop whining that you're being singled out or picked on.

(Yeah, I know... you don't think they should apply to you or your customers.)

B.S. burgee

You know I loves ya, Elyse... and admire what you've accomplished here, but enough with the Charlie Brown snivel.

I've gotta hoist the B.S. burgee on this one!

"Targeting Westhampton Beach?" They're do­ing their job, Elyse!

But pul-lease tell me you're not going to play the ol' "Selective Enforcement" card! I mean, you wouldn't do that, would you?

Some of that Disclosure stuff: The writer [me] maintained a business on Main Street for 24 years, and also briefly served as Village Code Enforcement Officer in 1996.

  1. He writes without irony!
  2. No hidden agenda here!
  3. In this case Code Enforcer Bridget Napoli and Building Department Administrator Paul Houlihan.
  4. [sigh] sez the Libertarian in me.


1. Surf's Up! said...

You have to give Elyse credit: she's an equal opportunity whiner! No one is exempt from her attentions....

Don't get me wrong, I do like Elyse... she is smart and has a good heart. But her thought processes in matters such as these boggle the mind! There's a black hole in there somewhere into to which rational thought disappears.

2. EastEnd68 said...

Tickets this weekend were given for expired inspection and registration stickers. Police are not picking on Main Street.

Elyse, and some of those in a related story in the current Southampton Press Western Edition, weren't talking about the police, but the Building Department, specifically Paul Houlihan and Bridget Napoli (neither of whom "carry Glocks," incidentally.)

But if the Village Police Department was to pay attention to Main Street, ticketing could be robust for illegal U-Turns. Elyse seems to feel that anything in service to business and customers, should be permitted.

3. Eileen Dover said...

I was always amused by the way Elyse would park in front of one of her stores. She was taking a space away from a paying customer. I suppose she thought the advertising on her vehicle must be worth it.

Precisely what I meant by her having "a black hole ... into to which rational thought disappears."

4. Tugboat Bertha said...

Elyse has gelato this weekend. This is good news for gelato fans. ~~ Elyse is my hero. She works harder than any woman I ever knew, she is more creative than any one I ever met and she has the best marketing skills of any merchant on Main Street.

Agreed... yet somewhere there seems to be a disconnect.
– Dean

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