How bad was...

Saturday, October 13, 2007

How bad was...

...Supervisor Pat "Skip" Heaney's initial mailing piece?

It was sooooooooooo bad that the campaign felt it prudent to follow up with an "improved" and expanded version the very next day!

Where to start?

Skip Heaney's 'Lawn Gnome' pose

Well, the photograph is, in a word, hideous!

It's all too apparent that Mr. Heaney has bulked up over the years... hey, Skip, join the club!... and he's "gone silver" on top, but whatever that image is meant to convey, the poor man comes across like a sunburned little lawn gnome instead of a three-term incumbent Supervisor imbued with 16 years worth of experience and undaunted "leadership" abilities.

Three other items in respect to this first mailing piece:

  1. It's tagged as "Printed on recycled paper," and while I won't be able to confirm this 'til Monday, I make it an eleven-to-five proposition that it's not.
  2. The line about "Lowest tax rate of any Township in Suffolk" may look good on the dubiously recycled paper, but why are our taxes so high?
  3. The part about "Proposed 2008 freeze on new property taxes" is not only silly, but leads with a "weasel word." "Pro­posed?" In other words, "I'm gonna suggest it, but if it doesn't happen, it's not my fault!" If nothing else that should cause everyone to revisit with greater scrutiny the Supervisor's des­perate campaign focus on "leadership."

    But the silliest part is the failure of Mr. Heaney's campaign strategists' to realize that that bus has left the depot! The reassessment has already been done, peoples' property taxes have already jumped well past what most think is "allowable," and the wisest thing the man could do at this point is to figure out some way to take his massive political war chest and channel it into the Town tax rolls. At least the taxpayers might remember him with greater kindness than they're inclined to right now.

The follow-up, larger mailing piece, also questionably advertised as being "Printed on recycled paper," uses, along with others, that same disastrous "lawn gnome" photo, but most of the images are so poorly reproduced that the Supervisor looks like he's afflicted with rosacea.

Or maybe Mr. Heaney's just red-faced from having been rejected by rank 'n' file Repub­licans on Primary Day, or his very non-leadership-like per­form­ance at Thursday evening's debate in Remsenburg (where neither Republican Linda Kabot or Democrat Jim Henry did much better), or the thought that after election day he's probably going to have to scramble for a job for another two years so his pension will be at the $40,000 level rather than the current $11k he'd receive if his public service were to end this year.

Good luck to him if his aggressive Row D can­didacy succeeds in putting the Supervisor's race into the Democratic column... Mr. Heaney could be lucky to get a job sweeping up losing parimutuel tickets at the OTB parlor on North Highway.


1. vel said...

It is easy to keep down the tax rate when you have raised the assessments to sky high levels. The tax dollars raised are the tax rate times the assessment amount. Few, if any, Suffolk taxing bodies have reassessed to "real" market value, so the tax rates are higher. A more accurate measure would be what the median house pays in dollars. Even more informative would be the lower 1/3 avg, middle 1/3 avg and top 1/3 avg homes contribution in dollars. Skip has some set saying the tax rate is low while he has let spending balloon and supported the spending with his inaccurate reassessment program. It's the dollars out of your pocket that counts, not the rate or the assessment - they just determine how much the government takes to support their activities.

2. Tony Jo Berk said...

Lawn Gnome. LOL, ROFL, etc....

3. Matlynn Carville said...

Heaney looks edentulous, to boot, in that ghastly picture. Remember that song some years ago that referenced, "An overfed, long haired leaping gnome?" Thanks to vel for a glimpse of the obvious: "It's the dollars out of your pocket that counts, not the rate or the assessment."

Golly, someone after my own black heart! Had to go to for that one!
The line you cite is from War & Eric Burdon's "Spill The Wine," 1970:
This really blew my mind, the fact that me, an overfed, long-haired leaping gnome should be the star of a Hollywood movie

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