Marc Schneier must think…

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Marc Schneier must think…

...he's a stud, but then who among the penis-encumbered of us, hasn't fancied ourselves one at some point in our lives.

Unfortunately, even with four marriages and half-a-century beneath his size 52 belt, the globe-trotting Hampton Synagogue Rabbi has yet to learn the most critical element of in­dulging in hanky-panky: discretion.

Gitty Leiner

Page 4 of Saturday's Daily News has tackily published the most disturbing photo yet of Rabbi Schneier... in a clumsy lip-lock with his latest squeeze, a comely wench named Gitty Leiner.

(The story describes her as "stunning," but then that same tabloid once described my friend "Fat Donna" from Westbury as a "svelte blonde in a sleek foreign sports car" when she got busted in her humpback Volvo on the Manhattan Bridge on New Year's Day 1964.

It's not that Ms. Leiner isn't attractive, but it's mostly about her long dark hair and big dark eyes.)

The published photo, courtesy of the soon-to-be-ex-Mrs.-Schneier-#4, is a killer, though... looking more like what Katherine Hepburn and Henry Fonda described as "suck-face" in "On Golden Pond."

The Rabbi and Wife #4

But as sensational as is the tabloid piece, there is less here than meets the eye.

That the Rabbi and Tobi Rubin­stein-Schneier (his second Tobi) were pulling the plug is old news 'round here.

(Note the "4/4/2010" date-stamp on the incriminating photo by the wife's private detective.)

And if, as she alleges, her successor is dining for two, her fury appreciates exponentially... and we all know what hell hath nothing like, and why... especially when it involves a newer, younger edition carrying her husband's child!

In reality, this story is an old one with he who the tabloid is delighting is calling "the randy rabbi." It must be remembers that the last Tobi Schneier started out the same way as both the current Tobi and the new inamorata: a congregant.

(Somewhere along the line it should have occurred to the Hampton Synagogue's Directors to discreetly issue an advisory to the female members: "Thou shall not schtup the Rabbi!")

But in all the salacious language of the story, an admittedly self-serving point made by Mrs. Rubinstein-Schneier's attorney, Susan Bender, raises a stark issue which must be addressed by the Directors:

"This behavior by an Orthodox rabbi is an embarrassment to Orthodox Jews."

Some wouldn't limit it to the Orthodox; one friend of Schneier's noted last month:

"Marc is a great rabbi, but even he will admit that he's a terrible husband."

He current antics put members of Hampton Synagogue in a very uncomfortable position.

Comments

1. Kathie Williamson said...

Yeah? Not according to this morning's Daily News.

Um, did you actually read that item past the headline? (It's not even a story, just a flimsy excuse to recycle some of what passes for bons mots with their strap-hanger target readership.)

In support of that headline, "Hamptons congregation stands behind Rabbi Marc Schneier," there's one (1!) attributed quote, and nowhere does Marshal Weintraub suggest that he is speaking for the congregation.
Dean

2. Frank Wheeler said...

Usually the husband is the last to know. Here it seems to be you AND NY Daily News. NY Post was all over this over six weeks ago.

So it was, but unlike the big city tabloids, I tend to keep out of other people's bedrooms.

As noted, the Rabbi's marital problems were old news locally even when the Post published that item July 4th.

Yesterday's "bombshell" (pfui!) does have local implications as OtBB noted above, and the Daily News signaled today. They came out for yesterday's services hoping to find Schneier cowering in Ms. Leiner's boudoir, with a tarred and feathered effigy dangling from the Synagogue entrance.

What they got was one philosophical septuageniarian who (for their purposes) was only good for a non-judgmental statement.

Unless the current Mrs. Schneier comes up with a photo of her husband frollicking au naturel with Fanne Fox in the Tidal Basin, that part of the story should be over.

What will probably happen is the Directors of Hampton Synagogue with have a quiet come-to-Moses meeting with Marc, and request that he take better care of his personal matters, and make a serious effort to stay out of the tabloids.

This may prove difficult, because Tobi Rubinstein-Schneier is obviously on the warpath, #1, and, #2, some enterprising garbage-sifter may find something additionally salacious which an Editor will may deem Page 6-worthy.
Dean

3. Frank Wheeler said...

Hey!, even earlier than July 4th. See "Famed rabbi & wife splitting" from late June.

Frank, are you one of those "garbage-sifters?"

(Does Irene Barrett have you on speed-dial?)
Dean

4. Tugboat Bertha said...

Thou shalt not schtup the randy rabbi? That's a great line, Speir, and will keep me in stitches all week.

5. Jerry Steiner said...

The Boi has needs and heavenly visions, Mr. Wizard. You don't make The Foward's list of 50 Prominent Jews in America for nothing. I just can't wait to see the happy couple mugging it up in Lifestyles Magazine. You can just smell the richness.

Now I would imagine the Kol Nidre appeal will take a slight hit.

Say, Mr. Wizard, who holds title to that piece of property at 154 Sunset Avenue?

Feel the love... ice cold beer... Jerry

Good question, Jerry. Upon information and belief, it is the priapic potentate Himself.
Dean

6. Someone who knows better said...

I have known Marc for most of his pathetic life. He has always harbored rage at being in the shadow of, and being compared to, his more successful and more genuinely charismatic father. Ironically, the apple does not fall far from the tree in this case, as his father was a notorious philanderer prior to his current marriage. Marc's sermons and addresses always have a smarmy, gratuitous undertone. He is not in the least bit scholarly. His interests are limited to the superficial matters of wealth and all of its trappings. I have always found it amazing that men and women who are otherwise well known for their wise choices have been taken in by this wretch. He is a user of the first order. I pray that he will never marry again; he has caused inestimable harm to some truly lovely women whose only judgment errors entailed loving a man who only loves himself and requires constant validation of his stature, his worth, his importance and, sadly, his standing relative to his father.

[gulp] It would seem that the Rabbi is not the only one with rage issues.

I'm not sure of your "head-shrinking" qualifications, but to someone who has been observing the Rabbi for the past 20+ years, it sounds right... though I have never heard discouraging word the first about Rabbi Arthur Schneier.

Still, that would fit the classic theme of father-son conflict, especially on the competitive field of sexual accomplishment.

What I find repugnant, though, is his attempt to ascribe his "philandering" to a recognized mental health issue.
Dean

7. Esme said...

I agree with Someone who knows better said. I always thought of him as a sleazy overgrown, stuffed troll. Now we know how the daily dollar prayer donations were spent. I was taken aback by how everyone, men and women, were enthralled by his "charisma" (can you say "passive aggressive") when in front of a congregation. I was one woman who was not taken with his personality. He gives me the creeps.

Well, as that celebrated chronicler of contemporary American folkways, Sylvester Stewart, long ago noted: "Different strokes...."
Dean

Commenting has been turned off for this entry.