Doomed to failure...

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Doomed to failure...

...from the start. From 27East:

Riverhead man arrested after attempted bank robbery

"Riverhead Town Police said Ronald Mallett, 48, of 7 East Main Street walked into the Chase Bank, located at 7 West Main Street, around 10 a.m. and handed a note to the bank teller demanding money."

With only Peconic Avenue between the would­be robber's resident and the financial institu­tion, that puts them about five doors apart!

Rarely has there been a better example of the adage: "Proper prior planning and preparation prevents piss-poor performance."

Or perhaps Mr. Mallett saw the weather report and thought the Riverhead pokey would be a warmer place to spend the rest of what has been a rough Winter.

I am reminded of the short unhappy times of one Reginald Harding (May 4, 1942–Septem­ber 2, 1972), a native of Detroit who was the first player ever drafted into the National Bas­ketball Association directly out of high school.

Though a seven-footer, Reggie wasn't very skilled on the basketball court, and after a brief professional career, returned to the streets and neighborhood pick-up games.

Having lost a bet during one of those contests and without the means to cover same, Reggie excused himself, took a revolver and a Hallo­ween mask from his gym bag and walked around the corner to a liquor store.

Donning the mask and brandishing the hand­gun, Reggie entered the store and demanded the contents of the till.

The proprietor stared at the menacing figure with incredulity, and asked, "Reggie? Is that you?"

Harding's response was timeless.

"Naaah," he said. "It ain't me."


1. Tugboat Bertha said...

Speir, you're on a roll and you've given me the much needed laugh for today. Thanks so much.

You're welcome. I strive to entertain as well as inform!

2. Frank Wheeler said...

Aw, you took that liquor store story from that Wesley Snipes/Woody Harrelson movie!

Actually, writer-director Ron Shelton incorporated the Reggie Harding incident into the screenplay of "White Men Can't Jump."
– Dean

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