On The Beach Blog | August 2014

Sunday, August 31, 2014

It was stultifyingly awful!

The fading, molting NBC Peacock

How awful was NBC's "Fall Preview" last evening, the 30-minute promo for the Peacock network's upcom­ing season hosted by Ken Marino and Casey Wilson?

(Casey whoooooooo?)

It was the type of horrendous awful where your jaw goes slack and winds up on your chest in disbelief.

It was the type of dishearteningly awful that should en­courage corporate parent NBCUniversal/Comcast stock-holders to make a million dollar donation to New York City Fire Department to have them take high pressure hoses and sluice out the executive offices at 30 Rockefeller Center.

Friday, August 29, 2014

This just in...

...or as Paul Harvey would say, "The rest of the story...."

Transmitted by Southampton Town Clerk Sundy Scher­meyer's office, a supplemental FOIL Response from the Town Attorney's office:

(Ain't bureaucracy-speak grand!?

Translation: they found more expenses associated with E³A litigation in addition to those which were re­ported here on August 20th.) More...

Thursday, August 28, 2014

None of your damn business!

Samuel L. Jackson for Capital One

That's to you, Samuel L. Jackson, you loudmouth, scowling over-exposed fathead!

"What's in your wallet?"

That obnoxious four word Capital One service line is bad enough, but what's really annoying is the volume and stridency with which the movie player delivers his pitch!

Hey, Sam...STFU!

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

It strains credulity!

I recently received what turned out to be an E-mail from a familiar name whose G-mail account had been hijacked.

The included link led me on a second hop to a Website1 promoting a miracle weight loss product featuring "The Pure White Kidney Bean Extract."

What caught my attention was not the endorsements by Oprah or Dr. Oz, but the before-and-after photos of one satisfied user of the product. More...

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Global warming seems to be...

...everywhere except at our end of Main Street.

Or at least that's how it's seems of late... and it's still August!

(Never mind yesterday afternoon's headline in The Southampton Press:) More...

Monday, August 25, 2014

True Blood proves false

HBO's seven season Sunday night fantasy-romance-melodrama, "True Blood," finished up last evening... and not a moment too soon!

In truth, the series over-stayed its welcome by two, per­haps even three seasons... it's been the worst kind of hot mess!

I'm not even sure exactly when it changed, though I admit to getting an uneasy feeling in year three when the debut season's strongest character, "Lafayette Reynolds," defi­antly and flamboyantly gay cook at Merlotte's Bar and Grill and Bon Temps' resident drug dealer, underwent an un­for­tun­ate and inexplicable personality change. More...

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Avoid Main Street this afternoon...

...especially mid-Village in the vicinity of #130 as there will be a significant security presence there protecting she-whose-name-will-not-be-uttered-here during her scheduled two-hour appearance.

Right now I'm 1-0 lifetime against the United States Se­cret Service, and I'd like to end up no worse than that.

Friday, August 22, 2014

All Ray Dean all the time

"This is insane. News12 and Channel 2 are at Village Hall and their news trucks were on my block...."

That was a text message from retired Westhampton Beach Chief of Police Raymond Dean about 12 minutes ago, and with the rest of everyone's field reporters out in Fergeson, Missouri fomenting civil and uncivil disobedience, what better place to send the others than "The Hamptons" in these waning days of Summer.

The Big Story? That $400,000 for Ray's unused sick and vacation days. More...

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

The cost of an eruv

And no, OtBB will not be delving into the history of Hamp­ton Synagogue and what "founding Rabbi" Marc Schneier has cost Westhampton Beach, because it's near impossible to put a price tag on that.

What can be quantified are the attorneys' fees and legal costs the Villages of Westhampton Beach and Quogue, plus Southampton Town, have expended since the synagogue first pitched the idea of an Eruv Chatzerot here in early 2008. More...

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

About that 'attractive nuisance...'

...on Griffing Avenue, a/k/a "the Guldi house:"

That eyesore Guldi house at #9 Griffing Avenue

(Yeah, it's fugly, but "attractive nuisance" is a legal doctrine, and there has already been one death, by drowning, of a child on that property.) More...

Not that I'm down on all quarterbacks...

...just weenies like Phil Simms and cocky little jerks like Johnny Manziel.

Or didn't anyone watch last evening's ESPN cablecast of the much anticipated pre-season NFL match-up of the Cleveland Browns against the the Washington Redskins... there, I said it again!

In a game in which he was sacked three times and com­plet­ed 7 of 16 passes for 65 yards and a touchdown, with the Browns down by 11 points, as he ran off the field Manziel flipped the Washington sideline the bird. More...

Monday, August 18, 2014

Phil Simms is a PC weenie...

...if he wimps out on using the Washington Redskins (there, I said it!) team name when calling this season's National Football League games for the CBS network.

"My very first thought is it will be 'Washington' the whole game,"

...the retired New York Giants first-ever Super Bowl winning quarterback told the Associated Press' Barry Wilner earlier today.

Simm's regular CBS broadcast partner, Jim Nantz, says it is "not my job to take a stance."

Good for Nantz! Boo! Hiss! to Simms.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

This 'outrage' is actually funny...

...and instructive, as well! From The New York Post:

Hamptons village police chief retires with $400K payout

There were two sure bets this past week:

  1. Al Sharpton would show up in Ferguson, Missouri, and make a lot of loud noise when the cameras began rolling.
  2. If the tabloids got wind of Ray Dean's retirement pay-out, they'd play it up large for their strap-hanging page-turners.

The Post, even more than its competitor The Daily News, loves anything they can turn into a headline about "The Hamptons." More...

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Something new every day...

...and it's not like I set out, in my advancing years, to learn new stuff on a daily basis... I just do.

This came courtesy of my son-in-law, Martyn-the-Meek-who-inherited-my-daughter, in the form of a Facebook posting:

The Forgotten Giant Arrows that Guide you Across America

One of the concrete directional arrows constructioned throughout the United States in the mid-'20s.

I was immediately fascinat­ed and intrigued as I had never been aware of any such sign posts for those with a birds­eye view and a need for reas­sur­ance that they were headed in the right direction.

Constructed in the mid-'20s by the Federal Government along established airmail routes to aid postal service pilots make their way in bad weather and darkness, the arrows and ad­ja­cent beacon towers spanned America from the East Coast to the West Coast. More...

Friday, August 15, 2014

Why we love her

Today being her 24th birthday, I'm acknowledging that I've been on the Jennifer Lawrence fan track since I first saw her Oscar-worthy performance in 2010's brilliant "Winter's Bone."

(That she didn't win that year will always be an ex­treme­ly sore subject for me, probably worthy of a Mel Gibson-esque rant!)

By tinseltown's often outré standards, that slight was rem­edied by Lawrence's Academy Award two years later for "Silver Linings Playbook," but the young woman was still jobbed by Oscar in 2011! More...

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Correcting the record on Dick Haefeli

Updated Thursday, 08/14/2014 – 02:48 pm

I've always found it amusing, sometimes alarming, when the Village of Westhampton Beach's annually designated "News­paper of Record" gets it wrong, as they did today in the story of the transition in Village Attorney from Richard T. Haefeli to the firm of Esseks, Hefter & Angel.

Witness the lead on both 27East and in The Southampton Press Western Edition:

"After serving Westhampton Beach Village, off and on, for the past three decades, longtime Village Attorney Richard T. Haefeli will no longer have a seat at the village dais." More...

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

The Shame of the NBA

The National basketball Association somehow survived the scandal of having a corrupt referee, Tim Donaghy, officiating games, so the league's forcing Donald Sterling to sell his Los Angeles Clippers team will be probably little more than a blip in NBA history.

It is, however, no less shameful an event... the entire action evolving from a private conversation between the 80-year-old Sterling and his "companion" V. Stiviano which she cov­ertly recorded, then released to TMZ. More...

Monday, August 11, 2014

Eminently avoidable!

I'm not in any sense a motorsports fan, whether it's the famed 24 Heures du Mans endurance race, the Bonneville Salt Flats or stock cars Saturday nights at Riverhead Raceway.

The pundits... we all know who "they" are... have been hot on the death of 20-year-old dirt track racer Kevin Ward Jr. Saturday night at Canandaigua Motorsports Park in upstate Ontario County. (Graphic Video)

There's an old aphorism I first heard on an episode of "Mav­er­ick" more than 50 years ago, which "Bart" asserted was something his "old Pappy used to say:"

"You don't walk on the railroad track, you don't get hit by the train."

But that Mr. Ward had considered that 15 seconds earlier.

Friday, August 08, 2014

Eruv up but not operational

While no one was watching, over this past Winter lechis, symbols which define an area of relig­ious significance to an Orthodox Jewish community, began to be placed on Veri­zon's utility poles and the Village of Westhampton Beach now has an eruv despite vociferous objections by many.

While physically in place, for the devices to function as in­tended, a two-part ceremony must occur: a blessing known as a brucha and a weekly inspection prior to Shabbat, the Jewish sabbath, to make certain that the lechis are intact and the eruv is properly defined. More...

Thursday, August 07, 2014

August Village Board Meeting

Updated August 08, 2014 – 07:38 am

Interesting meeting of the Westhampton Beach Village Board this evening in which the hallmark of the Moore Administration was established with the appointment of long-time Joan Levan buttboy Ralph Neubauer to the vacancy on the Planning Board he once chaired.

The import of this might be lost on anyone who hasn't been following municipal affairs over the past seven years:

  1. The Dowager Empress of Oneck is still calling some important shots within the Village. More...

Set your DVRs...

...for 3:00 am Friday when cable FXM unspools a rare showing of the 1960 feature, "Freckles," starring... not "featuring," starring... Westhampton Beach native, Martin West, or, as we knew him back then, Marty Weixelbaum.

Lobby card for "Freckles" Martin West, née Weixelbaum

The oft-filmed Gene Stratton Porter novel... this was the fourth version... was a natural debut film for red-headed Marty and launched an intermittant 30-year film and tele­vision career. More...

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

It doesn't feel like it to me...

...but our two, Gracie and Rosco, and visiting cousin Ike, have by their attitudes been most convincingly making a case for the Dog Days of August being upon us, not only falling out in the living room, but adorning the wooden floors with sizable spatters of drool.

Who am I to gainsay them? It is, after all, not the "Dean Days of August," and when it comes to weather, we've learned to trust them, especially Gracie.

The old gal can sense thunder while its still over Babylon, and has secured herself beneath our bed 20 minutes before any lightning flashes alert us.

If it doesn't get any worst than this, I'm jake with that.

Tuesday, August 05, 2014

Film or Digital... which is it?

This was initially reported on 27East over two weeks ago...

Hampton Arts Cinema Turns To Patrons To Help Fund Upgrades

...but it took Newsday and then CBS-TV 'til now to get interested in following up.

(Seems there were too many murders and vehicular fatalities West of here to get their attentions locally.) More...

Monday, August 04, 2014

I'll pass...

...on cable Fx' "Partners," a comedy series debuting this evening with Kelsey Grammer and Martin Lawrence.

I've got nothing for Lawrence one way or the other, but I've enjoyed Grammer's work as "Dr. Frazier Crane" on two NBC series, and especially as Chicago Mayor "Tom Kane" on cable Starz "Boss," untimely canceled after season two.

(That seems to happen alot on Starz) More...

Sunday, August 03, 2014

You cannot imagine...

Illuminated sign

...what can flash through your mind when you see something like this...

We'd left the Village during daylight, and were returning down Mill Road when we came into the intersection of Sunset Avenue only to be confronted with this illuminated sign on the old Jessup & Stevens property.

By the time a large "WHA-AAA?" thought crossed my mind... "What the hell happened while we were out for dinner?"... so too did the answer. More...

Friday, August 01, 2014

Toward improving one's diction

...or, Cringe-worthy, II.

Having established that "unique" and "pregnant" cannot be modified... I quote from that prior OtBB entry:

"As with 'pregnant,' you is, or you isn't!

There's no 'most,' 'nearly' or 'almost.'

There is only 'unique' or 'not unique!'"

So too are the words, when used as an adjective More...